Shot To Happiness
by Mooncat99
Summary: A shot that changes everything, opening up second chances - or utter despair. ROGAN - post show.
1. Shot

Title: **Shot To Happiness**

Author: Mooncat

Rating: K+

Summary: A shot that changes everything, opening up second chances - or utter despair. ROGAN - post show.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the TV show Gilmore Girls.

Copyright: Sarah Diaz 2009

Author's note: Only recently, I finally forced myself to watch the disastrous second to last episode of Gilmore Girls. While I admit that the way they set up the proposal, it was only logical that Rory said no. But that's the problem, they messed it up completely. While I live out my wishes for how the last season truly should have been in my story _Together While Apart_, I can't leave the series end like that and not do my own version of how they still might get back together after her declining Logan's proposal. So, hence this story. For those who wonder if this might be the conclusion to _Different_ - No, it's not. I do have a draft for the next chapter already and once I'm at that point in the _Different_ universe, you'll get that version as well. Until then, I hope you'll enjoy this one.

Thanks: To my beta who makes sure this baby is readable. You rock!

* * *

_**Shot To Happiness**_

**1. Shot**

People around him were cheering and clapping with the music playing loudly; there was a noisy excitement in the stadium with everyone's eyes on the promising candidate for president but his.

He wasn't sure why he was here. No way had he wanted to come; he had even outright refused it when his colleagues had invited him to come to the speech. He had told them he couldn't, that he had too much to do.

Truth was he simply didn't want to see her. Knowing that she's been at every stop of the campaign trail since she had joined the Obama press corps, the chances were great that he'd see her, should he go. And he wasn't sure if he could stomach seeing her.

It had been more than a year now since she had given him back his ring and he had walked away from her rather than give a long-distance relationship another shot. He still didn't know if it had been the right thing to do. For many months he had thought it was. Her refusal still stung like hell and all the while he missed her terribly, but he had been certain that it had to be either everything or nothing at all. Then, even though the hurt his pride felt started to fade, all that was left was the longing. A longing so fierce that it went deep into his bones, producing a constant ache he apparently couldn't seem to get rid of, no matter what he did.

Everyone told him that with time, it would get better. Be able to simply move on and eventually, he'd find someone else. That he'd stop missing her. Stop loving her.

Well, everyone had been wrong.

He had tried to move on, had dated. Randomly as well as a bit more seriously, trying a new relationship even. For a while he had thought that Amanda could be the one to make him forget her. But in the end, after five months, even she had lost her individuality and was only compared to his Ace all the more, becoming nothing but a pale substitute to the one he really wanted. So he had ended it before she got even more hurt by his inability to forget his college sweetheart, never really wanting anyone else other than her in his arms.

Because he still wanted her so badly. Loved her so much.

At last, he caught a glimpse of her, sitting among the rest of the press corps that was constantly following the man who by all means looked as if he was about to make history. Her concentration was solely focused on listening to the speech, sometimes looking around to gauge the reaction of the people in the stadium.

It was like a hard punch into his gut.

God, she was beautiful. Even more so in person now than in his memory or dreams of her that he still had almost every night. She hadn't changed much, though he thought he could see more maturity in her face.

He wondered if she still thought of him from time to time. He wondered if she had been wary to come here, knowing that he was living near enough for her to be able to run into him. And more than anything he wondered if she missed him. Still loved him. As much as he did still miss and love her.

Was their being apart as hard on her as it was on him? Could she also feel the incompleteness of life without the other, the certainty that despite what had happened after her graduation more than a year ago, they still belonged together?

Well, she sure had never tried to come to him, get him back. He halfway had expected her to, though. For months, each time the phone rang, each time his door bell sounded or whenever his secretary announced some unexpected visitor, he expected it to be her, begging him to take her back.

But it never had been his Ace and once he realized that this deepest hope and wish he held on to wasn't going to happen, it had hurt almost worse than her saying no the first time.

So maybe she felt nothing of what he did, perhaps never had and he was a fool to still believe, after all this time, that she was the only woman for him. That it was either her or no one. Not ever.

She wasn't seeing anyone though, that he knew for sure. He still had his contacts, people close to her who would tell him about her. So he knew that her only passion was work right now. And as often as she could, she visited her folks home, though they were rare occasions, there was hardly any pause in the campaign trail that would allow her to go home.

And of course, he read every piece she had written. She was good, no surprise, and getting better and better with each new article. He knew she was receiving more and more job offers, now that the presidential campaign was almost over. So far, she hadn't accepted any and he knew that Hugo was going to keep her on assignment at the White House, should she decide to stay with him.

Or maybe, she was waiting to be invited to join the Office of Communications of the new president, a likely possibility as well from what he had heard.

It didn't surprise him. He had always known that she was a natural for this business. That one day, young children would dream to be like her once they've grown up. And had he still worked for his family's firm and had she not been his girlfriend, he would have made sure that she'd work for him. As it was, his father was quite mad that he no longer worked for the family business and added to that they had lost Rory as a reporter as well.

So with all this success she was having, why should she miss him and regret that she had not said yes in the first place? If she had, none of this would have happened. She would have succeeded at the _San Francisco_ _Chronicle_ as a writer, of that he was sure, but it would hardly be like the one she had now. Or maybe, she'd even be pregnant with their first child by now and would soon have to take a break from work.

Looking at it like that, he could almost understand why she never even tried to get back with him.

Maybe that was why he never had gone to seek her out again and see if they still had a chance to be together again after all. Because, as unlikely as it seemed, part of him still believed that somehow, they could find their way back together and have the happy-ever-after at last. That was probably why he had never been able to let go of her, of them. Still, he had never tried to talk to her again, meet her, anything, only following her career from afar, with interest, with pride but also with sadness. Because, looking at her new life, he could not see a place for him in it.

Still couldn't.

So no, he had not wanted to come here and see her but reminding himself also of how right it felt to be close to her while at the same time he couldn't be with her. It was just too painful.

His firm had given him a ticket to the event which he took without hesitation nonetheless. Perhaps, deep down, he had always known that in the end, he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to see her, even a glimpse only, at a distance. The closer the day of the big event approached, the more restless he got. On the appointed day, he had left without a word, hurrying towards the stadium where the speech was taking place, being able to get in with no problem.

More than anything, he wanted to go to her, sweep her off her feet and kiss her senseless and remind her that she was his, damn it. Prove to her that no one could make her feel like he did, that no one could ever possibly complete her as much as he could. Show her how much he still wanted her, still loved her.

Should he risk going to see her afterwards? Hugo had given him a free pass, knowing only too well how very hung up on her he still was. Had told him time and time again to talk with her, probably being unnerved by his constant inquiries about her.

What if she didn't want to see him though? Or worse, if she would just treat him like an old acquaintance, happy to see him but otherwise completely indifferent about it?

So there it was, the true reason why he probably never did anything about his unchanging feelings: fear of rejection. He didn't think he could bear another rejection.

All of a sudden, the sound of a shot reverberated through the stadium, followed by another and then more shots. The sound of the shots cut through all the cheering and hullabaloo and, for a heartbeat, time seemed to stand still as an eerie, shocked silence hushed the previously loud crowd. Then all hell broke loose as terrified screams ripped through the silence and up front on the stage, the Secret Service rushed forward to protect the candidate and his family. Understanding of what was happening dawning on them, the people around him scrambled for the emergency exits but Logan knew only one way: forward. His heart beating wildly, he desperately scanned the crowd for her. Not able to see her anywhere, unspeakable fear had him pushing with almost inhuman speed through the hysterical crowd, focused solely on finding her, to make sure that she was okay.

When his eyes finally fell on her, his heart stopped and his mind froze, even while his body still moved towards her automatically, instinctively.

No.

She was still sitting on her seat, a deep red stain rapidly forming on her white blouse over her stomach, her blue eyes wide with pain and surprise. Slowly, she started to slide sideways off the chair.

Seeing her fall broke through the haze the shock had left him in and with a last spurt, he moved forward and was able to catch her just before she hit the ground.

"We need some help here!" he roared as he carefully lowered her to the floor, hoping someone would hear him in the chaos and send the paramedics that were no doubt already on their way towards them.

Without thinking he pressed his right hand onto the wound on her stomach while he held her head against his chest with his left arm. "Come on, Rory, you can't do this," he whispered desperately. "You can't die. You're still needed." A sob escaped his throat and he drew her closer against him, hoping he could somehow hold on to her, stop her from leaving him once and for all. "I can't live without you in this world, Ace."

Her eyes, unfocused so far, slowly cleared and met his. "Logan?" she asked almost tonelessly.

Despite everything, it felt good to hear his name from her lips again. Still, right now she should save her strength and concentrate on surviving, not talking. Pressing a kiss onto the top of her head, he reveled for a moment over the feeling of having her in his arms again at last but at the same time an unspeakable fear filled him. This couldn't be the last time he held her, it just couldn't. Drawing back, he searched for her eyes again. "Don't talk, Ace. I've got you. Help's on the way." He hoped. "Just hang on, okay?"

"'kay," she answered, her eyes now concentrated on him.

He forced himself to a smile. "You'll be okay." He wasn't sure if it was a reassurance or rather a plea. Probably both.

"I'll… try," she promised, her voice getting weaker, worrying Logan to no end.

Where the fuck were the damn paramedics?

"You better," he nodded, his own voice thick with emotions. "But, please, Ace, no more talking. Save your strength."

But she shook her head, weakly lifting her right hand to caress his cheek. "Promise... you'll... stay," she demanded. "No... leaving... again."

His heart constricted painfully as he nodded. "I'm here, Rory. I won't go anywhere. It's you who got to hold on now. Don't leave me," he told her, his voice raw and the emotions in his face and eyes naked, letting her see all, hoping she understood that he wasn't just speaking about the here and now.

She mustered up a weak smile in answer that had his hopes rocketing high, but then her eyelids fluttered and closed, her head falling back and lolling to the side. He panicked. "Rory? Rory? Damn it, Ace, not now! Wake up!" When she stayed unconscious, he frantically looked up, searching for any sign of help coming, if any. Spotting a uniform ten feet away, he lifted her up, running towards the person.

It was a police officer. "My fiancée has been shot! She needs help… right now," he ordered urgently, automatically claiming her to be his fiancée. He had promised his Ace to stay with her and he wasn't going to lose time by arguing about whether he had the right to be with her and be kept informed on her status later on.

Thank God the police officer didn't waste any precious time. He took one look onto the still bleeding and unconscious Rory in Logan's arm and was already reaching for his walkie-talkie, calling for the paramedics.

Looking down at his Ace, he felt his chest heaving as if he had run a hundred mile. Cradling her as close as possible, he repeated over and over the same words in a whisper, like a mantra, hoping she'd hear him somehow, urging her to come back to him. "You've got to live. We have unfinished business, Ace."

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's Note: Well, I hope you like this beginning of a new - short - story! More soon!)_


	2. Admission

**2. Admission**

Thankfully, the ride in the ambulance was quick and uneventful. Rory didn't wake up but she didn't crash either, her vitals considerably pretty stable. A good sign according to the paramedic riding with them in the back. Plus, she was young and healthy which were also good conditions for her to survive this.

Sure, Logan was relieved to hear this, but it hardly lessened the fear and worry he felt. She had been shot in the stomach. Clearly, he didn't have to be a genius or a medical graduate to know that such a wound wasn't nothing or harmless. That anyone could die of such a serious wound, no matter how strong or healthy, for sure.

His Ace wasn't going to die though. She simply couldn't.

Arriving at the ER entrance of the hospital, he made sure that he was out of the way as requested by the paramedics so they could unload Rory and get her into the exam room as quickly as possible. He hurried after them, trying to understand what the paramedics were telling the hospital staff, without much success. Too many abbreviations, too much medical jargon.

She was rushed into a room but when he tried to follow in, he was stopped by someone in scrubs, telling him that he was not allowed to be in there and to leave them to work on her, that they would do what they could. He tried to protest, to tell them about his promise, but he was already standing alone, left behind.

Forlorn, he stayed where he was, his eyes fixed on the door through where they had whisked away his Ace, unsure what to do now. He wanted to be in there, even though he knew that he couldn't do anything in there to help her. Most likely, he would only be in the way and that was unacceptable.

"Sir?"

It was only after the nurse tried to get his attention by touching him briefly on his arm that he noticed her, looking at her with a mixture of annoyance and confusion.

She had to be used to such reactions though as she offered a genuine smile, holding up a clipboard. "If I may ask you some questions on the patient while the doctors work on her?"

Questions. Right. That he could do. He nodded, not trusting his voice yet, his eyes automatically drawn back to the door of the exam room.

"Great. Why don't we go to the waiting room where it's more quiet?" the nurse suggested, still oh so awfully gentle.

He shook his head. "I can't..."

"Sir. Believe me, they are doing what they can in there. You staying here will not change a thing but you may be in the way if she or anyone else in the exam rooms need to be relocated," the nurse firmly told him.

He gave her a look that probably showed what he felt at the moment: utter despair and a sense of being lost. "I promised her I'd stay with her. Won't leave her alone."

"And you aren't. You're always with her in your thoughts and I'm sure she feels that. Now, please," she once again asked, standing back, pointing him away from the exam room.

Very hesitantly, he at last followed her request, dejectedly trailing after her.

This could not be happening. It just couldn't. His eyes caught sight of his hands, smeared with her blood. It seemed impossible, but it really had happened. His Ace, his beautiful, breathtaking Ace had been _shot_ and was now fighting for her life. And he could not do anything but wait here helplessly for someone to come tell him if his life was going to end today or not. Because one thing he knew with absolute certainty, if she was going to die, he was not going to stay behind all alone. It was hard enough to live being apart from his Ace but to live in a world without her at all… No, no way. He hoped she knew that in there, knew that she was not just fighting for her own life.

"I'm going to ask just a few questions we need to know ASAP and then I'll let you go to clean yourself up, okay?" the nurse asked, glancing at the blood on his hands and clothes.

Right. Give them all the information they needed. Really the only thing he could still do to help. Again, he merely nodded.

Readying her pen, she went on with the first question. "What's the patient's name?"

He took a deep breath. That was an easy one. "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore." He paused. "In as much as everyone calls her Rory, she might respond better to Rory than Lorelai."

The nurse made a note, nodding. "Good. How old is she?"

"Twenty-three. Turning twenty-four next week." He gulped. If she lived, that was. "On October 3rd."

"Any allergies that you know of?"

"Yeah, she's allergic to oysters," he answered, remembering that time at Martha's Vineyard when he had to bring her to the ER after a bad reaction to the oysters he had prepared for dinner, scaring the hell out of him at that time. Today he knew what it truly meant to be scared out of his mind. "Nothing else that I can think of."

"Any medical conditions we should know of? Diabetes, heart disease, pregnancy… anything like that?"

"No, none that I know of." He doubted that she had developed diabetes or any heart disease or got pregnant since the last time they have seen each other without him hearing about it.

"And you are?"

"Logan Huntzberger. Her fiancé," he lied without hesitation again. "And before you ask, I'm on her emergency contact list so you have to tell me everything."

This time he may not even be lying. After his accident in Costa Rica he had put her on his own emergency list, in fact the first name on the list, and he knew Rory had done the same. He never had bothered to remove her from that list and he'd be surprised if she had changed hers since it was one of those things that anybody would put in the back burner.

"Is she insured?"

He hesitated, unsure. She had health insurance coverage when they had been together and he assumed Hugo provided sufficient health care for his staff but he had no idea if she was still with the same insurance provider as then. "Yeah," he simply said after all. "I don't remember the company though at the moment..."

"That's okay, you can fill in any details later," the nurse told him. "One last question: Is there anyone else we have to notify?"

Oh, God. Of course! "Yeah. Yeah, there's her mother, Lorelai Gilmore. No wait, it's Danes now, she recently remarried," he remembered, thinking back to the invitation Emily had sent him a while back. It hadn't been the first time, nor did it surprise him much. Emily and Richard had always been a big supporter of their relationship and it was just like Emily to try to get him to come to some event where he would most likely meet Rory again, giving them a chance to reunite after all. Obviously, he had never followed the invitation, not ready to face Rory again yet but at the same time it had given him hope that maybe Emily saw something in her granddaughter that convinced her that not there was still a chance for them. Jeez - the Gilmores needed to know as well. "And her grandparents, Richard and Emily Gilmore. Oh, and her father, too, of course, Christopher Hayden." He felt for his cell phone, finding it in his coat pocket. "I have the numbers I think." He hesitated. "Uh, do you want me to call them?"

It would be one more thing he could do for Rory, knowing she would like them to know, be here if possible. Especially Lorelai. On the other hand, what could he say? He could hardly think straight and now he was expected to tell the people who loved her what happened to her?

"If you prefer to," the nurse answered, being very unhelpful.

Then again, if the hospital notified them, they may mention her 'fiancé' being there and if just one of them set things straight he'd be out of the loop for good. No way.

"I'll call them," he decisively nodded.

Making a last note on the hospital forms, the nurse looked back at him. "Good, that's all for now. You can use the bathroom over there to clean yourself up. Someone will come for you as soon as we can to keep you informed on your fiancée's status."

"Thank you." Watching her leave for the exam room, Logan slowly moved to the bathroom after a moment. Once inside, he leaned heavily onto the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He wondered why there were traces of her blood on his face as well. Probably when he had ran his hands over it. He was shocked, though, at how pale he was. The last time his face had lacked this much color had been when he was hospitalized after his accident.

God, if he could only switch places with Rory!

Turning on the water, he started to clean himself. The soap they had was probably especially made for hospitals as the blood washed down surprisingly well. He dabbed the stains off his shirt, but there wasn't much he could do. He would need to trash his shirt but he needed to first find some change of clothes. Looked like he had to make a trip to the gift shop as there was no way he was going to leave for home anytime soon and there was no one he could call to bring him something.

As clean as he was going to get, he reached for his cell phone again. He truly dreaded the calls he had to make, having no idea how Rory's family was going to react not only to the news itself but also to hear it from him of all people. Still, he hardly had a choice, hadn't he?

Going through the contacts listed on his cell phone, he wondered who he should call first. Lorelai of course, but where? The house or the Dragonfly Inn? Thinking of the time difference, he finally pressed the number to Rory's childhood home. It was only the second time he actually called that number, the first time had not been any pleasant at all, after he and Rory had been arrested. And now this time was for even a worse reason. Part of him hoped Lorelai wouldn't answer but after the fourth ring, any chance of that vanished into thin air.

"House of Gilmore and Danes. Who dares to disturb the newlywed's fun time?" the cheerful voice so similar to his Ace's sounded across the country, causing his heart to constrict painfully again.

"Lorelai? It's Logan," he said after perhaps ten seconds of silence, having no idea how to start this conversation.

"Logan?" Lorelai repeated, the surprise evident in her voice. "Rory's not here if..."

"I know," he interrupted her. "That's why I'm calling. I was at the Obama rally in San Francisco today. Something happened. There was an attempt on the senator's life and people got hurt." He swallowed, barely able to get anything past the big, fat rock sitting in his throat right now. "Lorelai? Rory's been one of them. She's been shot."

"What? No!" The cheer in her voice had been replaced by the same shock and fear he was feeling.

"She's in the hospital, the San Francisco General Hospital, still in the ER for now. The doctors are working on her, but they haven't come out to tell me anything yet," Logan said, eager to say everything important right away and be over and done with the phone call.

"You're with her?" she demanded to know. Logan wasn't sure if it was to reassure herself that her daughter wasn't alone in a situation like this or if it was a reprimand. He didn't really care. With or without her consent, he was going to stay and no one was going to tell him otherwise. Only Rory could send him away, either by telling him so or by... He didn't finish that thought.

"Yeah. As I was saying, I was there and..." he broke off, unable to continue. "Rory... She's been shot in the stomach, so it is serious. But the paramedics said she's stable, and because she is young and strong, chances are she will survive." How he hated the vague bullshit they have given him. Why hadn't they just told him exactly the danger she was in, how high or low her chances of making it? "As soon as I know something, I'll call you. I just need your cell phone number, I don't have that one." Shit, something to write on! Frantically, he searched for a pen, knowing that he always kept one in his coat pocket. "I mean, I could call your house or the inn but I assume you're coming here, aren't you?" There it was. Grabbing a paper towel, he was ready to jot down the number at last.

"Of course, I'm coming. I'm taking the next plane to San Francisco," Lorelai answered and he could easily hear that she was fighting for composure, the muffled sobs and suppressed crying a sure indicator for that. And as she rattled off her cell phone number, her voice was getting thicker and thicker.

After repeating it once, he looked into the mirror again, wondering if thousands of miles away, Lorelai was showing the same signs of shock as he was. "If there's a problem with finding a flight, call me. I'll try to have you fly in a private plane."

He may not have access anymore to the Huntzberger planes but Honor had and would surely help them, always having loved Rory as a sister. Or Finn and Colin could help out, if they were in the vicinity of Connecticut. Or some other old friends.

To his surprise, she didn't even utter one word of protest. "Okay. I'll call as soon as I know when I'll be in San Francisco. And you'll call when you hear something about Rory?"

"Absolutely," he promised once again. "What about her father and her grandparents? Should I call them or do you want to do it?" he offered again, though he wasn't sure if he would be able to do two more phone calls to relay the bad news.

For the first time, she hesitated. "I'll call Chris, but maybe if you can call my dad or my mom? I would really appreciate that. And to call me afterwards, so we can coordinate?"

"Okay," he agreed with a mental sigh, grateful that he was going to do this only one more time.

"Thanks. You'll hear from me," Lorelai finished, rather abruptly, before hanging up. He didn't hold it against her. At the end there, she hardly had been able to talk.

Closing his eyes, he tried to fight for composure himself. On one hand, he felt like crying himself, but there were no tears. On the other hand, he felt like throwing up, but then again, there was no bile. He was numb, but at the same time, his mind and insides were in complete havoc, reeling with the possibilities, shaking with fear and burning with the need to do something, anything, than just sitting around here and waiting.

Jeez, what he would do for a shot of scotch right now! Or even better, to have a shot at the bastard who had done this to his Ace. God, he hoped they had caught him and shot him down as he had shot down Rory.

Opening his eyes again, he pushed away and swiftly left the bathroom. He liked the privacy of it but if anyone came with news on Rory it would be hard to find him. Unacceptable. Glancing down the hallway, the door to where they wheeled Rory in was still closed. He wondered if that was a good or bad sign.

He went back into the waiting room, sitting heavily down on a chair, trying to muster up the courage to call Richard. Despite the older man's heart condition, he still thought it was better to talk to him than to Emily.

"Richard Gilmore."

"Richard, it's Logan," he more or less echoed his greeting to Lorelai.

Unlike Lorelai though, Richard was just silent at first. When he talked at last, he surprised Logan quite a lot. "Was Rory hurt in the assassination attempt?"

"You know about it?" Logan asked, perplexed. "Did Lorelai already talk with you?"

"No, we watched the speech live. It's all over the news non-stop. They say the senator was missed but others were hurt," Richard explained in a clipped voice. "With you calling out of the blue I assume Rory is one of them?"

"Yeah," he confirmed quietly.

"How bad?"

"Gunshot wound in the stomach. She's been stable on the way to the hospital but I haven't heard anything new since they wheeled her away from me," Logan reported, truly thankful that he only had to rattle out answers rather than find the words to explain everything again. "I've just talked with Lorelai. She's coming as soon as possible and will also inform Christopher. She would like you to call her as well."

"I will. Which hospital are you in?"

Giving him the name, Logan waited for his next instruction. He didn't have to wait long. "We'll be there as soon as we can. I will try to get in contact with the head of the hospital, see to it that Rory gets the best treatment possible. You stay and keep an eye on her there."

"Yes, Sir."

"Thank you, Logan. Emily and I are very relieved that at least you are with her right now. I know things between you kids hadn't been the best lately..."

"It doesn't matter," Logan told him, shaking his head. It really didn't. Everything had changed since this morning. "I'm here now and I won't go anywhere."

"That's good to hear. I haven't yet given up hope to welcome you to the family for real one of these days," Richard answered and Logan could swear he heard a smile in his voice. "I will tell you a secret about Gilmore women: they are hard to catch, but any struggle to get them onto the hook is worth ten times the effort. When I met Emily, I was already engaged, an engagement that I broke off not long afterwards. And I still had to ask Emily twice before she finally said yes. Now we're married for more than forty years. My mother, too, only said yes after the third time even and she was married for thirty years before my father passed away. And now Lorelai just married Luke who had to beg twice as well and though I still think she could have found a better match, I'm fairly certain her marriage will last 'til the end. Twice is the charm with my girls, Logan. Don't forget that and most of all, don't let a single _no _deter you from what you really want."

Logan had no words, literally and figuratively, so it was probably good that Richard hung up without any more words said. For a long moment, he stared at the phone, still flabbergasted by the advice that came out of the blue and from Rory's grandfather no the less.

Huh.

Was Richard right? Should he risk it again? Put his heart out there for Rory to either take or crush it? Basically, he had already been halfway ready to actually give it another try, or at least see if he and Rory could mend their relationship as a start and then go from there, even before all this happened.

Now that he might actually lose her for good... He meant it: he wasn't going anywhere, wasn't going to leave anymore. Once she was out of the woods (and there was no questions about that − she just had to be okay), he was going to talk to her. Or perhaps, he was simply going to tell her that from now on, he was back in her life and to get used to it because with or without a ring, he was back for good.

Because with her fighting for her life, which would mean the absolute nothing if she lost the fight, all the reasons for walking away and his insistence on all or nothing were now meaningless and irrelevant. With crystal clarity he knew now that the only important thing was for them to be alive and together. Obviously, he still wanted to actually live with her, have a home together. However, he was beginning to see that no matter where she was, she was his home − not a place or a house or whatever. And naturally, he wanted children, but they were still young. If she wanted to wait, they could certainly wait. Hell, they could even wait eight more years if necessary and they'd still be young enough to have a couple of kids.

That was, if she could still have children. She had been shot in the stomach after all. Could that have any repercussions on her capacity to have children? Did it matter?

No. Not really.

The only thing that mattered was her survival. Everything else was secondary.

And after that... Well, they would see where it would lead them.

Though he couldn't deny that deep down he did hope that Richard was actually right with his little wisdom.

Twice was the charm.

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's Note: Folks, thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews for the first chapter. I'm very glad you all liked it so much. As promised, here the next chapter. I hope you like it as well - and I'll try to have the next one ready for you by next week. Until then: enjoy!)_


	3. Begging

**3. Begging**

Waiting was the worst. Soon after his conversation with Richard, a doctor finally had come to give him an update on Rory, or rather said, Dr. Russell came to get his permission for surgery to remove the bullet, stop any internal bleeding and repair any damage the bullet may have caused. Logan had shortly talked with Lorelai before giving the consent, but really, there hadn't been any choice to make. The fact was the bullet needed to be removed, the bleeding needed to be stopped and any damage needed to be repaired.

So now he was doomed to wait once again, in a different waiting room. He had spent the first half hour buying some necessary things in the gift shop, changing clothes and getting some coffee from the cafeteria. The next half hour he had spent making more phone calls: Hugo, Honor, Finn and Colin. He called Hugo to get the needed health insurance information for the hospital and to inform him also on his reporter's status. And he made the phone calls to his sister and friends simply because he needed to talk to some of his own people. They had been shocked to hear about Rory, making him promise to keep them informed on her progress. And Finn was on his way from Los Angeles to give Logan some moral support.

He had protested at first, but only weakly. The truth was, with the prospect of the entire Gilmore clan joining him in a few hours, he was glad for some reinforcement for himself. Sure, the short phone calls he had with Lorelai had been civil and solely concentrated on Rory's status and treatment but he had no idea what to expect once they arrived. Would Lorelai let him stay? Would she let him see her, once she was out of surgery and in recovery? Would she keep him up to date? Would she demand that he leave once they were there? He had no idea, but Christopher's private jet was scheduled to land in about four hours so he guessed he would soon find out.

Not that it would make any difference. He wasn't leaving and he'll be damned if he wasn't allowed to see her. With or without Lorelai's consent, he'd stay and see his Ace, once it was time for that.

But first of all, she needed to make it out of surgery. It had already been three hours. What the hell was taking them so long? The surgeon had said it looked promising, stating as well how young and healthy Rory was and how often they had done such procedures, so she was in hands of experienced surgeons. Of course, he had no idea how long it took to do a bullet wound surgery. But it couldn't be that long, could it? He guessed the removal of the bullet, which did not fragment into pieces, would not take that much time so it all depended on how extensive the internal bleeding was or how much damage they needed to repair.

So the longer it took the bigger the damage?

God, he was going crazy here!

"Mate?"

Surprised, Logan stood up. "Finn! You were fast!"

Shrugging, the tall Australian crossed the distance between them. "As I keep telling you, it's only an hour and a half flight from San Francisco to L.A. and there are flights round the clock if you don't want to use the jet. So, no excuse at all to rot away in the desert of Palo Alto." He laid his hand onto his shoulder. "How's Reporter Girl?"

Logan shook his head. "Still in surgery, still no news." His hands flexed with the sheer helplessness he felt and he quickly changed the topic. "And how many times do I have to tell you that Palo Alto is not a desert?"

"Well, it is not as cosmopolitan as L.A. And there are more than just one kind of desert. That place is just depressing. High time you get out of there." Flopping down onto one of the uncomfortable chairs, Finn stared up at Logan with his perceptive eyes filled with worry. "Tell me," he simply said and just like that the dam broke.

Sitting back down, Logan ran his hands through his hair and began a detailed recount of the shooting and the long hours he had been waiting here in the hospital, leaving nothing out. Not his fear that Rory wouldn't make it after all, not his anticipation of how Rory's family was going to react to his presence and not even Richard's advice earlier over the phone.

At that, Finn grinned mischievously. "Listen to that man! He should know best, if you ask me."

"I'm not so sure," Logan sighed, glad for the distraction from the endless waiting.

Exasperated, Finn gestured with his hands. "By the devil, why not? You love her and want her back. Everyone knows that and had always known it. Well, everyone except our love, that is, and that's the problem itself." Logan opened his mouth to protest but Finn was faster. "And before you come with any bullshit about what that girl of yours may feel about you, stop. She loves you and she never wanted to break up with you in the first place, we all know that. You've been just too blind and your pride too hurt to see that. Think about it."

Finn's words may have mirrored many of his own thoughts but that didn't mean he was accepting them just like that. "Damn it, she said no! I asked her to be with me for the rest of our lives and she said no! Somehow I don't see that as her declaration of undying love for me!"

But Finn just snorted. "Please! You should have talked with her again, like we all told you to, and then you might have realized that you didn't ask her that but you gave her an ultimatum. To make a choice between what you were offering her and what she had worked for and dreamed of all her life. And, mate, I love you like a brother, but with all the options, I would have said no, too, if I was in her place."

"That's not true," Logan denied but he felt a tremble going through his very being. "I never wanted her to give up her dream. Never!"

He hadn't, had he? Sure, he had had doubts himself about how it had ended between them, even admitting that he had made mistakes as well, like turning his back and walking away from her. But he had never asked anything like that of her! Hell, he had even made sure that she would be able to get a job at the _San Francisco Chronicle_, and a damn good one.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me one thing… what was her one big dream? Ever since we met that girl and from what we heard, she had only that one dream for a long time before that already," Finn asked, raising an eyebrow.

Logan looked down. "_The New York Times_, but she didn't get in. I had nothing to do with _that_."

At least he hoped so. There was a slight possibility that his father had put his weight in, or rather placed some well thought-out doubts with the right people, out of revenge. His asshole of a father was like that when scorned and after everything that had happened between him and Mitchum, between him and Rory and between Mitchum and Rory he was certain his father held a grudge. And Logan still had a hard time believing that the _Times_ had actually been stupid enough to not take her, with all her credentials, talent and dedication. He never had the balls to find out for sure, though, not willing to be responsible for yet another thing his family ruined for her.

Then again, she wasn't the only good candidate applying for the available internship positions. Every top, good or even bad reporter wanted to be accepted and there were very few slots to accommodate all those very talented writers. And really, was ruining Rory's life that much of a big deal? Was it worth his father's efforts? Mitchum was first and foremost a businessman, he did everything for the utmost, possible profit. What could he have gained by doing something like that?

Finn though wasn't content yet. "And apart from that?" he asked, impatiently and quite provokingly.

Shifting uncomfortably, Logan knew exactly where Finn wanted to go and he was not at all ready to go down that road. "I got her a job at the _Chronicle_. Okay, it's perhaps not the _Times_, but it is still a damn good paper."

"Logan, what did she want, ever since she was a little child?" Finn repeated, more insistent now.

His jaw flexing, Logan remained silent.

"Say it, Logan. For your own sake and hers, say it already."

"Why? Why is that so important?"

"Just say it!"

"An overseas reporter. There, I've said it! Now what?" Logan hissed, glaring at Finn who had the nerve to smile proudly.

"Now ask yourself where in your proposal did you give her any room to fulfill that dream of hers," he said calmly. "To not become just your little wifey but to get out there into the world and thrive. To live the life of a grown-up… a young person just coming from college ready to tackle anything and start a new life?"

Again, Logan only met his eyes with silence. There was nothing he could say, really. It was true enough, he guessed.

"Ever thought about that?"

Logan raised his head, looking his friend straight in the eyes. "Every fucking day since she said no. And for the record, I never asked her to not become an oversea correspondent. All I asked her was to come with me, be with me, what job exactly she'd take on the paper was all up to her and her boss."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Ah, so when you told her about the house and about starting a family, you explicitly told her that you still want her to go for her dreams, just with you along the ride? Didn't you in fact tell her that you weren't going to do the long-distance relationship thing again, no way? Because, correct me if I'm wrong, she'd have to do a lot of traveling in that kind of job, yes? She wouldn't be home much, basically making it a long-distance relationship, with or without a ring." Logan opened his mouth but no words came out. "So basically, you did tell her after all, either you or her dream job."

This was just wrong. Finn made it sound like... it was just wrong!

"Yet, she's still not an overseas correspondent," Logan pointed out defensively.

"Right... Following a candidate for president during the whole campaign really gives her much opportunity to be at home and spend time with husband and children," Finn gave back, awfully dry.

"That's not..." he stopped, standing up abruptly to move over to the window.

The view was depressing, then again, Logan wouldn't want it any other way. He would think it as an affront if he had a beautiful view here while he was waiting for news on Rory. "All that doesn't matter anymore anyway," he said softly, wrapping his arms around himself.

"No?"

"No." Turning away from the view of only another wall of the hospital, he searched once more for his friend's eyes. "I just want her back. If necessary, I'll beg on my hands and knees for her to reconsider our relationship. I don't care where she works or what life she's living, I want to be a part of it. If she just..." He couldn't continue.

Moving towards his friend, Finn gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, she's going to be fine. Remember, she's young and strong and this is the best trauma hospital in the city. And once she wakes up, she'll be ecstatic to see you and hear you finally remembered that you fools love each other way too much to let a little two-letter word get between you two."

Maybe. Hopefully. He still had his doubts. But a guy could hope after all.

"Hear, hear," he more or less prayed, looking back at the depressing wall across from the window.

* * *

"Logan!"

Startled, Logan swiveled around, for one tiny second believing he had heard Rory and all this was only a terrible nightmare. However, it wasn't Rory but her mother who was so very much alike her daughter, so similar. Her looks, her voice and her manner of speaking, her habits and simply her whole personality.

While Lorelai still looked stunning, she looked distraught and desperate. Probably a lot like how he looked right now. Giving the dozing Finn a nudge, he slowly crossed the room to face Lorelai and the entire Rory clan which he realized upon seeing them all spill into the room. Instead of wasting any time with formalities, he cut right through to the thing they'd want to know the most. "The doctor was here only a little while ago. She made it through surgery. The bullet caused a lot of damage, but they think they were able to repair it all. They're bringing her to ICU right now. We should be able see her shortly, only for a few minutes though and only the closest family members."

That last bit worried him. He needed to see her, touch her, hold her hand and tell her again how very important it was for her to pull through and come back to them. If only her family had not arrived too soon!

Also, he wasn't sure if they still would let him see her, now that they were here. Only close family members, they had said and he obviously wasn't that, as Lorelai and the rest of them knew only too well. Would they tell the hospital staff that he wasn't her fiancé? Would they really be so cruel to deny him to see her?

"But she's going to be okay, yes?" Lorelai urged him to say, grabbing his arm, her fingers digging into his flesh.

His features instantly darkened. "They weren't very specific about it. The surgery went well. We have to wait until she wakes up. But we can be hopeful for a full recovery," he repeated the annoying words the doctor had told him. Why couldn't the doctors just say if she was surviving this or not?

"Preposterous! Richard!" Emily seethed, turning on her heel.

"Yes, let's go find someone competent here." Briefly hugging Lorelai, Richard nodded with a look of determination on his face that Logan was only too familiar with. Both his grandfather and father had worn it often enough and he knew that in a short time, heads were going to roll and most likely, every one from the head of surgery to the directors and members of the hospital board were going to have to report to the Gilmores.

Good. They sure deserved it, Logan thought with satisfaction.

They were just about to leave the waiting room when an unfamiliar nurse appeared by the door. "Rory Gilmore?"

Lorelai was in front of her in a flash. "Yes! I'm her mother. Can I see her now?"

The nurse was beginning to nod when Christopher too stepped up. "And I'm her father. I want to see her as well."

"You both can come with me. Only five minutes though. And only the two of you for the time being." Logan felt his hopes to see his Ace soon already crushing when the nurse's eyes swept through the room. "I understand there's also a fiancé waiting?"

Oh shit!

The silence in the room was deafening as all eyes turned towards him. Blood suddenly rushing in his ears, Logan's mind went totally blank. Only a nudge from Finn, pushing him gently forwards, brought him back to the here and now. Well, more or less.

Avoiding everyone's eyes, he nodded, feeling beads of sweat rolling down his neck and back. "Uh, yeah, that would be me."

"You'll be able to see her shortly in an hour, if the family agrees," the nurse told him before turning back to Lorelai and Christopher. "Now, if you'll follow me?"

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Lorelai still staring at him for a moment, but then she turned to hug Luke and hurried with Christopher after the nurse without a word his way. Something told him that that was not going to stay like that though. Only too aware of Rory's stepfather and grandparents still watching him with a frown, he mumbled something, making an excuse to freshen up before escaping the waiting room.

Forlorn, he stopped outside. So the cat was out of the bag now. They knew about his lie and it was up to Lorelai now to let him see Rory or not.

No.

No, that wasn't true. He was Logan Huntzberger, he had sneaked in and out of far more difficult places than a hospital room. If Lorelai really was so heartless to refuse him his right to see her, he would just find another way.

* * *

Leaving the bathroom, he wasn't all that surprised to run into Lorelai. He had taken his time, way past the five minutes she and Christopher had been granted. She obviously had cried, though, so he postponed the mental agonizing to first ask the most important thing. "How is she?"

Very much to his relief, Lorelai simply answered, not holding back anything. "Looking pale and vulnerable, hooked up to a myriad of machines and it's without doubt the worst thing I ever saw in my life. But she's sleeping and they assured me she's not feeling any pain right now, so there's at least that."

He mutely nodded, not liking the image of his Ace forming in his mind after Lorelai's description. In a way he was almost afraid to see her like that. Then again... "Can't be worse than actually seeing her shot and bleeding. Not to mention losing consciousness in my arms," he muttered, more to himself than anything else.

Her blue eyes pierced through him, but surprisingly, she said nothing else. Well, he for sure wasn't going to bring up his relationship status with Rory. The less he had to talk about it, the better. Restlessly, he turned to go back into the waiting room, sensing her following him. Luke was standing by the window. Richard and Emily were back, still impatient though. He would bet that soon the high horses would start parading through here. Christopher was sitting beside them, his face buried in his hands. Probably seeing the way Rory was had taken its toll on him. Clenching his jaw, Logan ignored the fear that observation evoked in him and headed for Finn who was slumped in his chair, watching everyone out of half-closed eyes. He had almost made it when Lorelai finally spoke.

"Care to explain the fiancé part?"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Logan slowly turned to face her, not sure how to answer that one. Well, he needn't have bothered as his mouth suddenly had a mind of its own and a very determined one at that. "We reconciled."

_What?!_

His own eyes widened and boy, he sure wasn't the only one. Pretty much everyone's attention was solely on him after his outburst.

Before he could think of the best way to take that back, his mouth made a strike again though. "A couple of weeks ago. And last night, I went to see her and well, now we're engaged."

_No! Wrong, wrong, wrong!_

Sure enough, Lorelai's eyes narrowed. "She never mentioned anything like that."

_No? Duh? Why ever not? _

But yet again, his mouth was quicker, riding him even farther into the shithole. "We wanted to keep it between the two of us, see where it was heading first before bringing the family in again. Of course, after last night, we were going to tell you guys."

God, why hadn't he just said the truth? He was sure they would have understood! But these lies? Oh, when the truth came out he was so going to pay! And he couldn't even blame them.

"Why don't I believe you?" Lorelai asked, her eyes shooting daggers.

Because it was complete bullshit? Too late to back out now, though. Well, in that case he could as well take advantage of it. "Believe what you want. Just don't make it difficult for me to go see her. Please. I need to see her," he begged. Seeing her glance sharpening, his face hardened. "I have a right to see her," he stated and fiancé or not, he had good reason, damn it. "I was the one who was there when she got shot. The one who brought her here, the one who called you. I waited for more than seven fucking long hours for any news on her. I have a right to see her."

"Nonsense! Of course you can see her, son. No one is denying you that," Richard interrupted whatever was going on between him and Lorelai, coming over to pat his shoulder. "Apart from what has happened to Rory, I am so happy to hear such wonderful news, especially in the light of this tragedy."

"Yes, at least some good news! I am so happy for you two, Logan!" Emily too cheered, coming over to hug him. "About time you two lovebirds came to your senses. Right, Lorelai?" she asked, sending her daughter a warning look.

Lorelai didn't look as if she agreed. "I don't..."

Much to Logan's surprise, Luke chose that moment to come over and hug Lorelai. "Why don't we wait with any celebrations until we have real cause to celebrate? Once Rory is awake again and back to good, I'm sure she and Logan will love to talk about this. Until then, let's sit back and concentrate on her getting better."

Everyone sobered after that, retreating back to their chosen places. Only Logan couldn't just let it go yet, having to know something for sure first. "And I can go see her next time we're allowed at her bedside, right?"

Lorelai's eyes met his, searching them. He could tell she was still not happy with him, but whatever she saw in his eyes must have convinced her of something at least as she gave a curt nod before burying her head in her husband's chest.

It was good enough for him and he too finally went back to his chair. Sporting a shit-eating grin, Finn slapped his back when he sat down beside him. "Boy, Reporter Girl will so have your balls for this," he softly whispered, only for him to hear.

No, shit!

* * *

Lorelai's and Christopher's reaction had warned him but he still wasn't prepared to actually see her in the ICU. He had been right, though, as hard and horrible as this was, it was nothing compared to the sight he witnessed in the stadium. Here at least he had the consolation that she had been treated well, that everything had been done for her immediate recovery. He hoped that soon this nightmare was going to end with a happy ending.

While back there in the stadium, he had found her after being shot, not knowing if she was going to live or die when she lost consciousness in his arms and all he could do was call for others to help her and pray that they could save her.

At the pure memory of it, he felt a cold shiver go down his spine. Swallowing, he leaned down to press his face against hers. The skin beneath his was clammy, but he could feel some warmth at least and he could feel her breath on his neck, as soft as it was. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply. Despite the hospital smell and, for sure, the antiseptic they had used during surgery, he could still detect that unique smell of hers that was just simply Rory, a mixture of vanilla and old books, or so he had always liked to think of.

"Don't be pissed, okay? I kind of told everyone, including your family, that we've gotten back together and are now engaged," he whispered into her ear. "Don't know what devil rode me. I just wanted to make sure that I can see you and I thought this is the best way to make that possible. So yell all you want, I don't regret it."

Closing his eyes, he imagined her sitting in front of him, or no, even better, her lying beside him on their bed or rather, beneath him. Her eyes blazing with annoyance only, and hopefully, with no trace of rejection.

"Basically, though, it was your fault. You're the one who made me promise not to leave you in the first place. Not that I planned on leaving you at all. But you see, this mess is all on you." He could almost hear her argument, denying her part in this. "It worked though, didn't it? I'm here. Waiting for you."

A tremble ran through his body as the emotions got the better of him. Blinking away sudden tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, he pressed a kiss onto her jaw-line. "Please, Rory, please. Come back to me. Come back, wake up. If only to kick my ass or kiss me, I don't care, just come back," he pleaded, his voice giving out.

There was no answer, only the steady and reassuring beeping of the heart monitor.

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's note: As promised, here is the new chapter! I love your reviews, guys, thank you so much! I'm very happy you like the story so far. Hopefully, this new installment didn't disappoint either. Three chapters down, three more to go. Enjoy and until soon!)_


	4. Redemption

**4. Redemption**

He wasn't too surprised to come face to face with Lorelai once again as he emerged from the ICU. She was alone and she definitely looked ready for a fight. With narrowed and unfriendly eyes, she watched him closing the distance. "I don't believe you. Rory wouldn't have kept such a thing from me."

No, she probably wouldn't. Then again... "Are you so sure about that? She knows perfectly well what you think of me." He shrugged. "No games, Lorelai. You and I both know very well that you don't like me, never have. And that you've always disapproved of my relationship with Ace. So why should she tell you before anything was definite?"

Her mouth thinned. "That doesn't matter. We talked almost every day. She would have told me had she been seeing you again."

"Not when we agreed mutually that we needed to see first if we could make our relationship work again. Not when we both thought it best to wait telling anyone this time, instead of everyone having their noses in our relationship again. Last time, everybody wanted a say. You, my parents, our friends, the Gilmores… you all had opinions, pushing us in this or that direction." It was true enough. He had had a lot of time to think this past year and, often, he had wondered if things would have been different had they not involved everyone into their relationship all at once. "We don't need either discouragement or wedding plans from anyone this time around. Like it or not, this is our life, not yours, not anyone's, but ours."

"If you really think you can have Rory without all of us then you don't know her at all," Lorelai immediately countered, not taking her eyes off him.

Tired, he sighed. "Believe me, I know. And as long as we will not be living together under one roof, I have no problem with that. Actually, I admire and respect you very much, Lorelai. Without you, Rory wouldn't be the person she is. Your courage when you were sixteen, your values and your beliefs formed her; they were imprinted on her. I can only imagine what you went through raising her by yourself, the strength it took, and for that alone, I respect and admire you. But she'll be twenty-four next week. I know you love her, I know how important it is for her to be on good terms with you; but, you still need to let go of her, if only a little. Let her be her own person. Let her make her own choices. Let her love the man she chooses and not you making the choices for her."

"I always let her do what she wants!" she protested, outraged. Not that he had expected anything else.

"Yeah, that's what you tell her. But she knows you. She sees what you really think and has always in mind what you would say on any situation she finds herself in and mostly, she does what you would want in the end. And it doesn't help that she gets an 'I told you so' from you whenever she does not do what you expect from her, against your wishes." Okay, he may have sounded a little bitter there, but damn it, he was almost sure that in some way, she had convinced Rory to say no to him. Probably not outright but he had learned enough of their interaction to suspect that Lorelai, without any explicit advice, had influenced Rory's decision about marrying him and moving with him to Palo Alto. Sure, she may have given her permission when he had gone to ask for Rory's hand in marriage but he was no fool. She hadn't been happy about it.

"What do you even know about what's going on between my daughter and me? You never cared much about it and you've been gone from her life this past year," Lorelai countered.

"I know enough, believe me," Logan simply answered. There was more he could say, a lot more. True, he had never really been very eager to go with Rory when she went home to visit her family and friends. But she talked a lot about them and he saw on many occasions how Lorelai affected her or any opinion she had. "I know more than you can imagine."

"Like what?"

Logan already opened his mouth, though thought better of it, stopping himself in time. "No. I won't betray her trust like this. Just remember that there has been quite a long time when you refused to talk to her. Who do think she talked to when she needed to talk to somebody so she won't go crazy? Richard? Emily?"

He had been glad that she had opened up to him back then, letting him in a bit. Not enough for him, though. Aside from her moments of weakness when her situation had gotten too much for her to bear, she did refuse to talk about how she really felt. She did, however, tell him more about her past life, most of it naturally involving Lorelai, considering how close they've always been. So he knew that there were a few things and thoughts Rory never had shared with her mother because of different reasons. It made lying now all the more easier. "This past year, she never mentioned me, did she? Not because she was over me. But because she was still hurting, just like me. But I guarantee you, there hasn't been one single day she hasn't thought of me. She missed me just as there has been not one day that I haven't missed her. I know this because we've talked about it." With this, he was almost sure he wasn't even lying here. True, they hadn't been able to talk much, but with the little words they said to each other and what they had seen in each other's eyes, he believed that what he expressed to Lorelai was what they wanted to say in their hearts. Besides, he knew his Ace, even if it had been a year since they've last talked. "That's the reason why we decided to give _us_ another chance. Why this time, she said yes," he added quietly, hopefully.

_Promise you'll stay… no leaving again. _

Those had been her last words. Words that were said with immense strain on her because of her wound. It may not be an 'I love you and I want to marry you' but it could as well be. She wanted him to stay which meant she wanted him in her life. And she didn't want him to leave her again which meant forever. Right? So when he had promised her that he won't go anywhere, that he'll be with her _always_, wasn't that in a way an engagement? Maybe she still didn't want the ring, but that wasn't important anymore. With or without a ring, he was hers and he was never again leaving her unless she asked him to. But, she had asked him to stay. "You can think whatever you want. Once she wakes up, she can tell you herself." She had to wake up. That was all that mattered. What would happen when she wakes up, he had no idea. Probably his Ace was going to give him hell about all the things he had said. For once, he was looking forward to whatever hell she would give him. God, he had missed her rants, her fire. In the end, if they could come out of this nightmare together once again, then, hell was worth enduring. "I'm not going to leave. Not ever again. So you better get used to my presence."

"You've always been good at big words, Logan," Lorelai said as he walked past her. "But when it came to following them through, you've always disappointed her. Hurt her. You say you love her, yet, all you do is hurt my baby like she's never been hurt before. Has it ever occurred to you that she's simply better off without you? That if you really love her, you should leave her alone?"

Her words hurt. They hurt a lot. Probably because he recognized a grain of truth in them. Then again... "Has it ever occurred to you that even if that is the truth, sometimes, love has to hurt to be real and true? She isn't the only one hurting. When she said no, she hurt me. Her rejection hurt a lot. But a year without her taught me that while I resolutely intend to never have anything to do with her, my heart thinks differently. My heart wants Rory and only Rory. Without her, I'm never going to be happy. With her lying in there, fighting for her life, nothing else really matters. I want her to live. And I have every intention of making her happy the rest of her life." He turned to look at her straight in the eyes. Her eyes were different and yet so similar to his Ace's that he ached just by looking into them, simply because the blue eyes he wanted to see were still closed. His voice trembled when he continued to speak. "I have reasons to believe that she thinks exactly like I do. The fact is she asked me to stay. Before she lost consciousness, she asked me not to leave her. And I gave her my promise that I'd be with her. Always. So do you really think you can say or do anything that will make me break this promise I made to your daughter?" He shook his head, turning away. "No, Lorelai. I'm keeping my promise. You cannot make me do otherwise. Be it in this life or the afterlife. When she wakes up, I'm going to be there. I won't ever leave her again."

He managed ten steps away from her, almost reaching the corner with the thought that she would let him walk away after that final statement. But apparently, much like her daughter, she too wanted to have the last word in, and boy, did she have a good one ready. "You want to know why I know that you lied and that you two have never gotten together after all this time, let alone made up? Because she may have never mentioned you even once but I'm her mother and her best friend. She doesn't have to tell me that she's not happy and miserable, nor does she have to tell me the reason for her wretchedness despite her great career, despite making new good friends, despite living an exciting life on the road, seeing the world like she always wanted to. Each time we talked, every damn single time, I heard the despair she tried to hide from everyone, even herself. I can sense her sadness, her unhappiness. No matter how hard she tried to lie to me about how well she's doing, how she loves her job, how much she enjoyed all these new experiences, I knew. I didn't call her on it, but I knew. Boy, did I know." She had caught up with him and was now in front of him, looking at him pointedly. "I know you lied because when I talked to her yesterday, she's as heartbroken as she ever has been since you turned your back and walked away from her, on her graduation day, nonetheless. Because if you are telling the truth, I would have known, I would have sensed and felt my baby was happy again for the first time in over a year."

* * *

"Here you are! I already thought that really hot future mother-in-law of yours had you deported to Siberia."

"Not yet. Can still happen any moment though," Logan sighed, not bothering to look up. The view of his feet on the sandy ground was good enough right now.

After Lorelai had left him standing utterly speechless, he had regained enough strength to overcome the stupor her last words had thrown him in. He had turned the other way, in desperate need of some fresh air and most of all, some alone time. After Lorelai's revelation to him, he feared going back into the waiting room. He couldn't argue very well against her logic after all, could he? Not when it sounded so true. And despite having suspected it himself, hearing from Lorelai how hard Rory had taken their separation had been like a blow to his gut. It hurt like hell. Sure, he too had a hard time and he too had been unhappy, still, the thought of causing his Ace so much pain... it was unbearable. And had he not been so damn proud, maybe a lot of their heartaches could have been avoided. If he had talked to her, listened to why she really had said no... If he had asked her in a different way, making clear that he didn't want her to give up her dreams. That he simply wanted to be with her, at every step of her path...

Of course, she could have fought more for their happiness, too. If she had been so damn miserable as Lorelai had insinuated, then why had she let him go in the first place? Why had she never called, came to see him, made him take her back? Heaven knew she wouldn't have had a hard time convincing him to give them another shot.

So many 'what ifs'. All irrelevant in the end.

"Lorelai knows I've lied."

"Duh, I wonder why..." Finn replied sarcastically and slouched down besides Logan on the garden bench. "You confessed or did she figure it out on her own?"

"I still stand on what I've claimed," Logan answered quietly, watching how the ants busily ran around and over his shoes. For him, the ants had it easy. Born knowing exactly what they had to do their whole lives without having to deal with the craziness of love, unlike humans. Each and every ant would go about their specified tasks without any emotions involved, even in their breeding process. No complications in their lives, no drama. Yeah, they had it very easy.

"Good for you." Finn made a pause. "Is she going to bust you?"

Logan shrugged. "Dunno. Did she say anything to you guys?"

It didn't matter. He had made a promise to Rory and he would keep his word. Sure, he preferred that he wouldn't need to fight his way to Rory's bedside, but he would, if necessary.

"Nah. She looked mighty upset though when she came back from her 'trip to the bathroom'," Finn answered, gesturing quotations marks with his fingers. "Strangely enough, she told me to go look for you. Apparently, she got the impression you could use a friend right now. I wonder why?"

Logan stopped looking at the ants to face his friend with a frown. Why would Lorelai send Finn after him? "Rory is alright, right? You're not here to tell me..." his voice gave way. Probably his concern was ridiculous but why else should Lorelai send Finn to find him? It wasn't as if she cared about him. Not after what he had said and Rory...

"Logan, relax man. Your Ace is fine… well, there hasn't been a change anyway," Finn squelched his worries and Logan took a deep breath. Good. Good. His friend though didn't look happy. Actually, he looked as if something irked him. "Okay, mate. What exactly went down between you and Lorelai?"

He could evade the question, sure, but he was too tired to even try. And besides, Finn would have been able to make him talk, one way or the other anyway. So with a sigh, he gave a short recap of his confrontation with Lorelai, including the promise he made to Rory and the warnings Lorelai gave him. He had thought he'd get some sympathy and was a little offended when all he got was booming laughter from his best friend. "Finn!"

"God, that woman is so hot," the Australian said dreamily, giggling afterwards.

"Glad my shitty life amuses you so much," Logan muttered darkly, returning his gaze back to the ants. They may not know his pain but they for sure seemed a lot more understanding than his best friend.

"Oh, come on, mate, it's not every day that I get the pleasure of seeing someone from the female gender not falling for your bullshit. I think the last time that happened was when you met a certain blue-eyed reporter girl." Finn chuckled, slapping his back. "Now here we are, four years later, and once again a blue-eyed, dark-haired vision is putting you to your place instead of buying your best crap ever. It is hilarious. And it has some touch of all that circle of life thing going, doesn't it?"

"Are you on her side?" Logan accused, incredulous. Et tu Brutus...

Finn grinned widely. "Nah. Well yeah, where she's right, but other than that, I totally have your back." Reducing his grin to a smile, Finn became serious suddenly. "Logan, that Rory's been hurting and unhappy shouldn't be a surprise to you. Look at the mess you've been ever since our dear love turned you down."

Looking away, Logan shook his head. "Knowing it for sure is different." He was quiet for a moment. "This isn't a game, Finn."

"I know."

"Rory may still die in there. And even if she's pulling through like they say, she could still be hurt in some permanent way we don't know yet," Logan continued, his voice barely audible.

Finn grabbed his shoulder. "Logan..."

"But before she lost consciousness, there had been this moment and it felt as if in that moment, we didn't just reunite. It felt as if we made a bond that goes far beyond life, deeper than any ring and any signature on some paper can ever give us. It was as if we connected and knotted together on some so basic and primal way that we will never be separated ever again. I didn't lie, Finn. Okay, I haven't been honest about the time frame and we hardly said anything to each other… but we had this moment and I know how I felt. I know that it happened. I don't really understand it, but I know that it's real." Shaking, he took a deep breath, his eyes gazing as if she was in front of him. "We made a promise to each other and it's so much more than a proposal or even a wedding."

The pressure on his shoulder increased. "Logan..."

"No. I know it sounds crazy. I would laugh to my face, too. But Rory's still unconscious, lying in there. I can feel her, Finn. She's afraid and confused. She's lost, stuck somewhere. It drives me crazy that, left and right, people and circumstances are trying to keep us apart. Tell me that I have no business in being with her, that it's for the best that I simply leave her alone, like what Lorelai told me straight out." Lorelai was blunt about her opinion. But, no matter how much he tried to tell himself he didn't care, he did care. And the rational part of him listened. And, the worst part... What if she was right? It hadn't been the first time he had deeply hurt his Ace. Maybe, she really was better off without him. Yet, every time he allowed his insecurities to show, there was this other part of him who screamed his protest, even now. And this part of him was oh so much more powerful. "They are wrong, though. She needs me, as much as I need her. Especially now. I should be in there, wherever she is now, holding her hand, talking to her, leading her back to… I dunno, life maybe. I promised, Finn, and I just know that above all, I should keep that promise. It's killing me that I'm forced to stay away or waste time by picking fights with Lorelai. Something I shouldn't do if I want to be in my Ace's life, but damn, someone has to tell this woman once and for all that she's not the only one who loves Rory and who wants her to be happy!"

He could hardly believe that he was saying all this out loud. Most importantly, he had realized that he was able to verbalize everything that was in his mind and meant it. And he was able to express what he felt about Rory to someone else. But then, this was Finn who somehow had the ability to make him realize the fundamental truths about himself, without having any idea about those very truths prior to his saying them.

And at that moment, the Australian who would otherwise be making a joke (or a leer) out of everything had turned dead serious and not made any judgment, not even one syllable, on what he had just confessed. He simply believed. "Mate, I think it's time you remember something very important."

Blinking, Logan couldn't follow him. "What?"

Slowly, a grin sneaked back onto the handsome face of the Australian, his green eyes starting to sparkle with mischief. "That you are a Huntzberger, fool. And we all know that Huntzbergers always get what they want. Don't we?"

Logan took a moment to grasp the meaning, but when he did, he too started to grin with a hint of tomfoolery. "Oh yeah, Finn, we do. Thanks, man!" And he got up, running back towards the entrance.

Damn right he was a Huntzberger. He was going to see Rory now and he was going to stay with her until she was awake. Screw anyone who'd try to stop him. They'd learn first hand what it meant to stand between a Huntzberger and what he wants and they would regret it deeply.

* * *

It was dark. And it was cold. Yet strangely, she could also sense something like a blazing fire that was not emitting any heat at all, not radiating even the smallest amount of light but burned and hurt, nonetheless.

She wasn't sure where this was, where she was, but she hated it, she wanted to be away from this. But she couldn't. Something in this sickening darkness kept a tight grip on her, barely allowing her to move. To breath even. Every gulp of air she took burned her throat, her lungs, and her whole body. And God, her stomach. The pain there was horrible.

Despite all this excruciating pain, it was the loneliness of this awful place that scared her the most. The loneliness was more painful than the physical pain she felt. It felt wrong, oh so very wrong, that she was utterly alone in this pit. She couldn't remember why, but she felt like there should be someone else with her.

That there wasn't anyone with her broke her heart, over and over again.

Why did this hurt so much?

She tried to remember. Why was she in this dark hell? Why did her body hurt so much? Why was she seeing images? Hazel eyes pleading with her. Why was she hearing a voice? A faint whisper calling for her. Why was she upset when she realized they were not real?

She tried to remember, but all she got were flashes. Of a crowded room which she longed to be in right now instead of this frightening isolation. Of something loud and frightening which ripped through the silence she wished she still had. Of those hazel eyes which made her heart ache. Of an Ace of Hearts which made her wondered why the image made her smile and cry at the same time. Of a soft but urgent voice which she wanted to listen to but had difficulty doing so.

Flashes that were not making any sense at all, only aggravating her overwhelming confusion and causing her more despair.

Why would she struggle? Why endure this senseless pain? The more she fought, the more she hurt. Why bother? She should just relax, let go...

Wait. Was that that voice again?

Didn't matter, the voice would fade away like before. She needed to not let it fool her again. Not now when she had finally found a way out of all this pain.

There! It definitely was the voice.

She hesitated. It wasn't as faint as the whisper that had haunted her. This time, the voice was more audible, stronger. More real. Could it be real? No, not in this place. Nothing else existed here but her pain and her.

The voice was saying something again, growing louder, more insistent… calling her, she realized.

Slowly, she turned towards where the voice was coming from. She felt pulled towards it. Should she give in? Was it safe to follow this strange voice, having no idea what it was saying? It didn't sound so strange, though. No. It sounded very familiar and made her feel good.

Again the voice spoke, by now loud as bells ringing through the darkness, desperately searching for her.

The despair in the voice was heart-wrenching. She suddenly felt that she had to understand in order to lessen this terrible despair. She strained to understand.

At last, one word crystallized, humming within her.

_Ace._

Ace! The Ace of Hearts!

She couldn't understand, but suddenly she started to struggle, fighting with all she had against the grip that kept her in this bottomless hollow. Pain and joy equally resounded in her heart at that word and she knew that the voice was searching for her, calling for her, trying to guide her to be free.

_Hand._

With a shuddering snap, the chain on her right hand broke and instantly, warmth replaced the cold gripping her, spreading from her fingers to her entire body. It hurt, oh, it hurt so much, but it was a good pain, she knew that now. She felt as something, _someone_ pulled at her hand, trying to haul her out of this hellhole, back into light.

Back into life, she realized.

_Come back, Ace._

She fought. She clawed. She wanted out, wanted to be back in the light. Back with _him_. She wanted to live.

The voice she heard was still calling and the hand that held hers was still pulling. With the voice and the hand guiding her, she broke through the surface at last, leaving the darkness deep beneath her as she climbed into the light.

_Yes, Ace, that's it. You're almost there. Just a little bit more. Please, Ace._

Pain exploded once again all throughout her body but this time, she welcomed it. Pain was good. Pain was life.

The light dimmed, took on shapes that formed and crystallized. She was seeing, she realized with a thankful start.

Soulful, hazel eyes wide with fear and relief stared at her.

"Rory, thank God!"

Warmth pressed against her forehead. A kiss, she grasped.

Warm air stroked over her face, her jaw line. A whisper into her ear, full of emotion, full of something else. "I promised. It took me a while, I'm sorry, but I'm here now. I'll never let go. I'll stay. Always."

Another kiss pressed against her clammy skin spread fire throughout her body.

With a rush, everything came back to her and she let out a sigh that nearly choked her, suddenly making breathing impossible for her.

She felt soothing hands over her face. "Shhh, calm down. You're still intubated. I already called the nurse; she'll be here any moment."

She hoped so. His name burned in her throat, on her tongue, longing to be spoken.

_Logan._

Pain again. This time, a different pain. This time, pain was love.

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's note: I am glad you like this story so much. Sorry for the break, but with the fic exchange, it just wasn't avoidable. But like I promised, I'm back to give you this chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading despite its chaos. For this though, I needed just that. Two more to go! Soon, hopefully.)_


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